Adventures in Reverse Psychology

(begin sarcasm) The way I see it, there is so much obnoxious positivity out there in the world, and all these life coaches, counselors, and self-help gurus are all trying to make people happy, successful, and healthy. Bah! I say, let's bottle up our emotions, set the bar really low, and dodge progress like the plague. ;)

Here's what I'm wondering: "Is there some sort of users manual, or book on how to live a miserable life?" You'd be surprised to learn that there isn't a lot of info out there, only this insufferable positive thought. So when I couldn't find a how-to guide to suffering, I had to write it myself. Enjoy.

The last 14 years of my life have been profoundly dedicated to personal development, insight practices, and developing my therapeutic craft. During that time I have confronted my past and engaged in some transformational healing, I have targeted and achieved some amazing goals, including the creation of Paradigm Method™ Life Coaching, and I have eagerly explored the depths of my own heart and mind through spiritual practices like meditation and mindfulness.

In all that I have practiced and discovered, these 5 principles and practices stand out as having manifested the greatest impact on my life so far. If you are ready to take your life, career, health, or relationships to the next level, then get your pen and notebook ready, because here comes the top five to a happy life.

*This article also celebrates my one year anniversary of this adventure into blogging, and I look forward to many years more!

I'm sure you've been there, those key moments in life where you are called to make a decision that may change the overall trajectory of your journey:  Go after that degree/don't go after that degree, get into better shape/sit on the couch, start that new business endeavor/stay with the old job, stay in the relationship/leave the relationship, have that needed surgery/dodge it like the plague, etc. 

The decision to make a change, whether it be inner or outer change, is rarely an easy event, as so many variables tend to be involved. Thus life decisions of this magnitude will require a great deal of clarity regarding what we want, why we want it, as well as a path or strategy to get us there. Yet before action can be consistently taken, a deep sense of readiness and openness to big change must first be established; if not, your vision might end up collecting dust in the goal graveyard. Please join me in exploring common obstacles to success (our "edges"), and how we can overcome them in order to finally manifest the life and relationships we long for.

The German philosopher Heidegger spoke of "Man's thrown condition" as the human experience of being tossed or thrown into challenging life circumstances and situations without having a sense of ordering them or inviting them to come about. Typically, the "conditions" that we are prone to struggle with are finances, relationships (or lack of them), fears, careers, emotions (insecurity, anxiety, etc), health, loss, and life meaning.

As we go through these thrown conditions of life, many of us get the crazy idea that "my problems are my problems, and yours are yours," or "no one really wants to be bothered with what's going on with me." Given the commonality of these phrases, many of us are prone to isolate, especially men, and what we end up feeling is exactly what we were trying to dodge in the first place: our suffering. Please join me as we explore together, how to stay open, ask questions, form positive relationships, and seek the great wisdom of others, which are often the keys that unlock the doors of life.

New Years resolutions, some of us make a point to try every year with renewed fervor, and the rest of us have so many failed attempts behind us that we lose interest in trying.

If we have goals, they usually have the positive intention of improving the overall quality of our lives: "I'm going to lose that weight. I'm going to eat healthier. I'm going to improve my relationships. I'm going to go back to school. I'm going to be more spiritual. I'm going to make a career shift. I'm going to get out of debt, etc." The challenge is, we are so often going to do something in the future tense, versus living it in the present tense.

Yet, against all odds, there are some people who transform from being full time couch potatoes into running triathlons,  desk clerks go back to school and become doctors, life time bachelors shift into becoming dedicated life partners, and even emotionally constipated shut outs have become warm hearted and open conversationalists.  So what is the defining factor(s) between those that make it and those who don't?  What are the keys to a successful new years resolution? Click "read more" and let's get to it.