What do you think, does the rate of ended relationships prove that the promise of “forever love” is a dead-end road? The media clearly favors stories of celebrity breakups and cheating politicians, and we all know our share of divorced couples. Question time: Does all of this PROVE a failed system, or does it simply prove that monogamous relationships require a lot of knowledge and skills to succeed that few of us ever seek to learn? 

If you have a long history of picking the wrong person, allow me to offer your "picker" a tune up. Let's begin with a strong foundation.

It is hard to explain what it's like to have your father take his final breath right in your arms and collapse into lifelessness. Death for my father came fiercely and unexpectedly, yet in the embrace of his family with words like "I've got you, I've got you, you're not alone in this," there was and always will be tremendous and powerful grace. For me, this shocking event took place September 18th, 2011 around 1:15pm in the home of my father who had terminal lung cancer. With open arms he was embraced by his family, just as he embraced life itself.

As a counselor and coach, I have the humble fortune of getting to know the deep recesses of a person's mind, the emotional longings of the human heart, and our ideal dreams for the future. In that rawness, I get to see that at our core none of us really wish to suffer, and all of us just want to be at peace, and be happy; and I don't think that's too much to ask. 

But what is this peace we seek? What does it even feel like? How will we know when we've found it? Will we begin to glow or something? Will cosmic rays rain in from the heavens? No, but that would certainly be interesting. ;)

I'll give you a hint, peace is wherever war and the struggle with life is at an end. Truly it's not find-able, purchase-able, attainable, or conquer-able. It's always (and all-ways) right where you are standing, right here in this moment, in every breath.  Here are a few concepts that might help "awaken" peace in your life. I hope this serves you. 

Adventures in Reverse Psychology

(begin sarcasm) The way I see it, there is so much obnoxious positivity out there in the world, and all these life coaches, counselors, and self-help gurus are all trying to make people happy, successful, and healthy. Bah! I say, let's bottle up our emotions, set the bar really low, and dodge progress like the plague. ;)

Here's what I'm wondering: "Is there some sort of users manual, or book on how to live a miserable life?" You'd be surprised to learn that there isn't a lot of info out there, only this insufferable positive thought. So when I couldn't find a how-to guide to suffering, I had to write it myself. Enjoy.

The last 14 years of my life have been profoundly dedicated to personal development, insight practices, and developing my therapeutic craft. During that time I have confronted my past and engaged in some transformational healing, I have targeted and achieved some amazing goals, including the creation of Paradigm Method™ Life Coaching, and I have eagerly explored the depths of my own heart and mind through spiritual practices like meditation and mindfulness.

In all that I have practiced and discovered, these 5 principles and practices stand out as having manifested the greatest impact on my life so far. If you are ready to take your life, career, health, or relationships to the next level, then get your pen and notebook ready, because here comes the top five to a happy life.

*This article also celebrates my one year anniversary of this adventure into blogging, and I look forward to many years more!

I'm sure you've been there, those key moments in life where you are called to make a decision that may change the overall trajectory of your journey:  Go after that degree/don't go after that degree, get into better shape/sit on the couch, start that new business endeavor/stay with the old job, stay in the relationship/leave the relationship, have that needed surgery/dodge it like the plague, etc. 

The decision to make a change, whether it be inner or outer change, is rarely an easy event, as so many variables tend to be involved. Thus life decisions of this magnitude will require a great deal of clarity regarding what we want, why we want it, as well as a path or strategy to get us there. Yet before action can be consistently taken, a deep sense of readiness and openness to big change must first be established; if not, your vision might end up collecting dust in the goal graveyard. Please join me in exploring common obstacles to success (our "edges"), and how we can overcome them in order to finally manifest the life and relationships we long for.